Posted on September 1, 2008. Filed under: reality |

It’s been a (tough) month since we got engaged. Really tough. I thought we’d be in a happy love bubble, but alas, that was not to be, not for us, not for me. The worst of it let up last weekend, our third stormy weekend, when we suddenly understood each other for the first time (more on this in a later post). Since that day, we’ve been slowly returning to our normal happy state, and it’s a relief.

I found a great book for the newly engaged struggling with not-so-bubbly feelings:

In desperation, I hit the local bookstore and pulled every wedding planning book off the shelf. Okay, not every book — I ignored anything that said anything about “perfect,” “best day of your life,” “elegant,” or “The Knot.” I love matching details as much as anyone, but I’m beyond (or not there yet) worrying about details. I need some help figuring out why it’s not all butterflies and rainbows.

I know that it’s not socially accepted to admit that being engaged is scary and stressful. I know that talking about worrying that you are with someone forever (even when said man is kind and wonderful and you want your kids to be like him) isn’t the proper thing to do. I know that it feels disloyal saying the words, “it’s not what I expected.” Well, here I am… and I know I’m not alone (if only because I found a book that says so).

If you’re reading this and you relate, please leave a comment. If you’re reading this and you don’t relate, then please share your secrets! I love him, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been, but whoa — forever. Scary.

Has anyone else read (and enjoyed) this book? Have you felt, like me, a little lost and a little overwhelmed?

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    About

    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.

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