Great Expectations

Posted on September 26, 2008. Filed under: screw-ups |

I bought this fabulous book on a desperate trip to B&N. One of the first exercises concerns your expectations (versus reality) of getting and being engaged.

I suppose we’re lucky in that we have a do-over, so we’ll see how reality and expectations match the second time around. In retrospect, I expected that the occasion would somehow morph us into something we’re not (although I wish we were) — sentimental.

The lesson here? If you want to be something as a couple, be it now. Don’t expect an occasion to make it happen. If you’re not a spiritual couple, I’m guessing your wedding is unlikely to feel very spiritual, in a comfortable way, anyway. If you’re not a formal couple, a formal wedding might feel… off. I want to be more spiritual, more sentimental, more connected and intimate. Is it possible to morph, as a couple, once you’re together?

{Repeat-Bride-specific note: I wasn’t proposed to the first time around. We decided together that it made sense to get married, then took my mom out to lunch to let her know. I think I sent my dad a fax. *cringe* I didn’t do much better this time. I blurted out that we’d be getting married in the fall in a hospital waiting room. Brilliant.}


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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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