Now, about the ring…

Posted on October 17, 2008. Filed under: deciding | Tags: , |

Well, hello, there, darling.  What a pretty color you are!  Wanna come live with me?

Yes, I’m a dork.  I’m a dork with that thing (pointing to the left) as my engagement ring.  I got quite a few questions when I first showed y’all this picture, so I’m going to take you through my ring saga, as promised.

First, we went ring shopping together. He liked much more delicate styles than I thought I did, and then so did I.  I knew I wanted something classic, not too “blingy,” not too expensive, and meaningful. I have to say, it was great fun showing him things and watching to see his reaction.  Anyway, in the end, I pulled together a bunch of links and emailed them to him and figured I’d stay out of it.

Not so much.  Something kept bothering me, and I finally put my finger on it: I wasn’t being genuine.  I’m not much of a jewelry person.  I wear earrings (from my grandmother), a ring (from my mom) and a necklace (from my dad).  They’re beautiful, but I could care less about that.  I wear them because they’re meaningful to me.  You know that ee cummings poem?  I carry them with me.

This isn’t the last piece of jewelry I’ll ever have but it is important that it always mean something to me.  So, instead of a cool-looking piece of sparkle, I needed to decide what matters most. For me, that was continuity, the physical symbol of “forever and ever,” the personal message that means that we will stick it out.

Also, I like vintage. I like the idea that the things I have lived a life before me, and that they have come to live with me now (yes, I’m a weirdo).  I love that my furniture isn’t new (I collect mid-century furniture), that it has a soul (weird, yes), and that it hasn’t affected the world by being manufactured.  If that’s what guides what I wear and what I sit on and live with (even my animals are rescues!), then shouldn’t it at least be a consideration now?

I did a search for vintage rings and found Fay Cullen — great selection, great prices, so-so reviews on the ‘net.

I emailed the poor mister a bazillion links, then admitted that the one I really loved best, the one that really caught my heart, the one that happened to match my cat’s eyes… was the least expensive.  Uh, huh.  As expected, this made him uncomfortable (“You want me to buy you an engagement ring ON SALE?”), but because it’s one of a kind, he indulged me.
So, here she is: approximately one carat of a “vivid light lilac” sapphire surrounded by teeeeeeny tiny diamonds in yellow gold.  As far as Fay Cullen goes, they ship very quickly and have a great selection and prices, but they don’t take returns.  Now I just have to figure out what kind of wedding band will go with it.
(And yes, in retrospect, I could have just gone with whatever he picked out, and I would have been thrilled… but alas, my meddling soul prevented that.)
Were you involved in choosing your engagement ring?  Did anybody (anybody?) struggle to pick a ring that felt genuine and just right?  And (this one’s just for Mr. Cheese), any other ladies out there that had a hard time with the idea of a super expensive piece of jewelry?
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6 Responses to “Now, about the ring…”

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[…] I’m on my first business trip since being engaged, and I LOVE IT.  Love.  It.  I find it hard to believe that anyone thinks that they might score by talking to a random woman on a plane or in an airport, but it doesn’t stop them from trying.  While I’m still having conversations with my seatmates and fellow travelers, I don’t feel like I have to manage the conversation to keep it respectful.  All I have to do is casually flash the bling! […]

[…] of you requested more info on my ring, which I posted here, then You requested a hand shot, so here you go.  Incidentally, does anyone have any tips for […]

[…] Waffled, flip-flopped, panicked. Screeched my distress at my boyfriend. I cried. Finally chose a ring (which he promptly purchased, unbeknownst to me) and then panicked some more. Ruined his surprise. […]

[…] We looked at a plain gold band, a simple diamond band, an eternity band and a pave band with diamonds on all three sides (did I mention the 80% discount?) and we decided that the sparkly simple band looked best with my engagement ring. […]

[…] We looked at a plain gold band, a simple diamond band, an eternity band and a pave band with diamonds on all three sides (did I mention the 80% discount?), and we decided that the sparkly simple band looked best with my engagement ring. […]

[…] We looked at a plain gold band, a simple diamond band, an eternity band and a pave band with diamonds on all three sides (did I mention the 80% discount?), and we decided that the sparkly simple band looked best with my engagement ring. […]


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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.

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