Inclusiveness and drama

Posted on December 1, 2008. Filed under: crafty-crafty | Tags: |

I’ve been thinking a lot about our wedding party, having read and considered every one of your comments.  The theme seemed to be to surround yourself with people who support you, to include family if at all possible, and to choose bridesmaids and groomsmen to honor each phase of your lives.  I hear ya.

Your comments plus the Thanksgiving holiday (and a chat with my little brother) got me thinking that there are really two strategies for choosing a wedding party: inclusive or exclusive.  I didn’t know which way to go.  As I told my brother, the “point” of a wedding party is to surround yourselves with the people who will support you and your marriage going forward, not necessarily just to honor childhood friends or family.  He then reminded me that many wedding traditions are also about honoring the people in your life, regardless of your current feelings.  Hmmmm.

Because I always want to limit drama, I’d leaned toward keeping our wedding party small.  More people = more input = more coordination = more drama… right? Yea, except that the more I think about it, the more it seems that leaving people out is what creates drama.  People want to be included, honored, needed – especially when it comes to weddings.  And me?  I want to have a good time without having to worry about hurt feelings.  If that means more people rather than fewer, so be it (and yay, I’m a lucky girl!).  The mister and I had a couple more conversations, and we agreed to a larger wedding party. Yay! I love making wedding decisions!

So, with the decision made, I embarked on my very first wedding-related DIY project: Will You Be My Bridesmaid? cards.

I already had flat blue cards from Paper Source with no specific plans (What? They were on CLEARANCE!), so even though they won’t match our invitations, I decided to use them.  I bought a 99-cent roll of navy blue velvet ribbon and a package of paper scraps in assorted colors for another two bucks at A.C. Moore.  Voila!  DIY cards.

Disclaimer: I have not a crafty bone in my body, even though I have crafty yearnings.  It’s kind of like my experience in middle school band, where in spite of my best intentions, I was the worst oboe player known to man.  I swear, it sounded like geese were dying (or getting it on) when I played. My parents will corroborate my story.  In a nutshell: keep your expectations low.  Okay, ready?  [The weather here is very nasty and gray so my pictures are kinda funky.]



I formatted the card using’s Draw application.  The font is Jane Austen from (love), and I borrowed Mrs. Hydrangea’s dress outline (as well as the idea to make the dresses black).  In the space next to the dress, I’ve written a more personal plea (“You KNOW I need you, so please say yes?”).

Now that you DIY divas are finished pointing and laughing at my super simple cards, I’ll share my lessons learned for the less talented of us:

  • Paste the ribbon, THEN cut it to be flush along the edge of the card.  Duh, I know, but I kept cutting the ribbon to fit and then finding myself unable to match it up once the glue was on.
  • Cutting out little tiny dress outlines is no fun.  I have more respect for second graders now — they have to do this stuff with dull scissors!
  • When you’re not a DIY diva, a simple design is best as it offers less opportunity for flubbing.  My first designs were much more intricate but I decided that the frustration wasn’t worth it.

I should be seeing every one of my girls over the holidays, so I haven’t decided whether to mail the cards or wait and hand them over in person.  I’d also love to include a little gift, but after being reminded of my (lack of) crafty abilities, I’m scrapping my original idea (personalizing stationery).  Back to the drawing board.

Y’all know that I lurve to know that I’m not the only one who’s {fill in the blank}, so here goes: who’s not crafty, but wishes they were?  Who went the simple route with bridesmaid’s cards, not because they didn’t have time to be more crafty, but because they didn’t have the ability?  And if you ARE crafty, this would be the place to help those of us who aren’t!!


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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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