The Big E

Posted on January 6, 2009. Filed under: dreaming |

Today, dear friends, I’m dreaming about the big E.

E. L. O. P. I. N. G. *Eloping* Eloping!

Now, don’t lie to me — you think about it, too.  At 3 am when you’re up to your elbows in glue and slips of paper that are somehow supposed to turn into beautiful, professional-looking invitations all MacGyver-like, it crosses your mind.  When your fiance says, “whatever you want, Honey” when you bring up the bazillionth wedding-related difficulty that’s keeping you up at night, you think, “if only.”  When you contemplate the flexing of diplomatic muscles required to handle all of your visiting family, in one place at one time, in a city they know nothing about (and you do), never mind the likelihood that some or many of them will be staying with you — oh, you think about it.

Oh, or maybe that’s me?!

I have it all dreamed out.  We’d wake up together, drink coffee and giggle in bed before splitting up to get ready.  I’d wear a prim dress and fantastic heels, and he’d wear his favorite jeans and a button-down shirt.  We’d pick up coffee and grab our camera, then smooch and snuggle while waiting in line in the marble lobby of an old government building.  Our vows would be just between us, and we’d tear up just a bit, able to ignore the needs and wants and comfort of the witnesses we didn’t know.  We’d leave holding hands and grinning like fools.  Would we tell anyone?  Maybe.  Probably.  Maybe not!  It could be our secret.  We’d go someplace special afterward, maybe the brewery where we met.  We’d sit at the bar and giggle, drink a beer, share super fattening snacks and feel like we were in our own little world.

Maybe we’d plan a party and not tell people why, then announce that we’d gotten married… but probably not.  We’re weird about announcing news — we never have figured out how to work in the news that we’re engaged during a conversation, so it’s unlikely we’d be anything but uncomfortable announcing our elopement.  More likely, we’d throw a party where people would know that they were coming to celebrate our new marriage, but it would be casual.  Steaks on the grill, friends assembling side dishes (while munching on them), lots of beer in coolers and wine bottles lined up and waiting to be opened.  We could have a bonfire, and spontaneous toasts, and maybe, just maybe a roving photographer capturing the funness.  Our house would be lit up by twinkling lights, and somehow tables and chairs and silverware and glassware and trashcans and trash bags and an ice cream sundae bar would magically appear without any planning.  Someone would finally hook up our speaker system and we’d dance on the lawn.

Sigh.  Spontaneous parties don’t happen when your family lives across the country, and I love my people too much to not want to share this with them.  Would it be too much to ask that they travel in from out of town and then throw us a party at our own house?  *giggle*  We could leave to get married and they could get the party ready for our return!

I’m stressed.  We have so much work to do on our home and property, and the pressure of having a “wedding” is really weighing on me — and when I get stressed, I want to boil it all down to the very basics, the essence, the point of it all.  “Weddings” mean (to me) that things have to look nice, and that food has to be ready and waiting, and that everything has to be organized, planned, on a schedule.  I’d much prefer a really great “party,” and if my people lived closer, I’d go with my dream without a second thought.  As it stands, I have a much-too-fussy dress and a lot of details to work out, and I’d better get back to that.  I think I’d rather build or buy tables for 60 people than rent them, at this point.  Sigh.  More on that later.

Do you dream of the “E”?  What stopped you from going through with it?


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4 Responses to “The Big E”

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You described exactly what I want….I am stealing it;)

You don’t know that we won’t end up doing it! But that’s okay, weddings have enough pressure on them already – no need to add “unique” to the equation.

I ran off to Vegas because Brandon was the second and I had done the big glamorous wedding years before. It was easy, it was fun, but I have regrets. Not about the marriage, about the wedding, or lack there of. Don’t do it!

[…] if you don’t want a “real wedding,” that’s great, too.  I’ve been there.  But if you do, if you really do, don’t feel the need to hide it.  You’re not a […]

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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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