Life is good…

Posted on February 20, 2009. Filed under: life is good |

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Do you know the “Life is Good” line of products?  They’re quite popular here in my part of the country and early in my relationship with the mister, I thought of them all the time.  I’d come out of a nasty breakup (with a coworker *knocking myself upside the head*), was living in a city where I didn’t know anyone, and was in the middle of negotiations for a new role at work (awesome, but nerve-wracking).

I met my guy, and I thought, “Man, life is good” way more often than I deserved.

Then we started renovating a house, bought another house, moved, talked about marriage, got engaged, got a puppy, dealt with job tension, tried to plan a wedding… in short, we were living life in super speed without many relationship skills yet developed.  I didn’t think “life is good” very often at all anymore.

As of today, we are approximately 90 days from our wedding day, and I’m thrilled to report that I’m thinking that life is good, really good, once again.  What changed?  I don’t know.  It certainly didn’t happen all at once, I’ll tell you that much.  I learned not to yell, he got better at offering help without being asked, we both grew up a bit more.  I remembered that I’m here by choice and finally let go of any resentment I had at the choices I made to stay with my guy and build a family.  I’m closer to forgiving myself for mistakes made in my past.  I’m remembering to hold my tongue and not lash out when I’m hurt.  He’s apologizing better and checking in with me more often.

This engagement period was very important for me.  Not easy, and not really fun, but definitely necessary.  When we first got engaged, I didn’t “get” the point of engagement (something I’ve blogged about more than once), thinking it a byproduct of the need to plan and pay for an event rather than what it is: a rite of passage giving you time to accept and heal as you close one chapter and prepare for the next.  I had a lot of healing and accepting to do!

With 90-ish days to go, I’m over the hump, on the home stretch, rarin’ and ready to go.  Rather than feeling frustration, tension, and pressure, I feel excited – the kind of excited that balls up in your throat and makes you giggle.  When I think, “wedding,” I see my husband holding my hands and pledging himself to our newly formed family, I see the smiles of our people as they offer their support, I see candlelight and hear laughter and smell warm summer air on my guy’s skin.

A, ha!  This is what being engaged is supposed to feel like!

So, take heart, dear friends.  If you’re not feeling giddy and excited, or if that feeling left you soon after the question was popped (probably around the first time you were asked about your wedding colors!), hang tight.  Don’t try to fight the panic, the worry, the nervousness or the sorrow; if it’s there, it’s necessary.  You will get through it, but there aren’t any shortcuts.

And then we can giggle like fools together!

How are the late May/ early summer brides feeling right now?

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    About

    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.

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