Let’s talk about budgets again

Posted on March 18, 2009. Filed under: reality |

I’ve been very honest and direct about a) my cheapness (which I prefer to call financial efficiency), b) my desire to keep our wedding from turning into an “event,” and c) the tininess (extremeness?) of our budget.  What I haven’t been up front about is whether or not that tiny budget is really by necessity.

In terms of salaries, we do pretty well.  In fact, together we make more than our parents, most of our friends, and most people in general.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we aren’t rich (by either political party’s definition!), but we do pretty well.

Do you think our tiny budget is less charming and more tightwad now?  I sometimes wonder if we have some unspoken obligation to our friends and family to spend more on our wedding.  It’s one thing to ask people for help in lieu of hiring a vendor because that’s your only option; it’s another to do it because you just don’t want to spend the money on something you can collectively do yourselves.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we don’t have piles of cash laying around or anything.  Our expenses are pretty significant at this point — two houses both under renovation suck up the bucks, let me tell you.  We’re also remedying a bit of debt we were carrying on credit cards and paying vet bills.  So while our incomes are good, our net worth isn’t that great.

In the end, though, expenses are a choice and income is a blessing.  Do we have an obligation or expectation to spend more because we can?

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4 Responses to “Let’s talk about budgets again”

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I hear you. My fiancé and I are in the same boat–spending less because we want to, not because we have to. And I’m sure we won’t regret saving money when all is said and done. We’ll look back on our day and remember the friends, laughs, kisses, and hugs…not the too-expensive dress I didn’t buy or the vintage car that we’re not hiring.

Good for you guys for sticking to your goal of having a thrifty wedding!

no you definitely don’t have an obligation to spend more just because you make more! there are plenty of other things worth holding on to your money for – like those houses. I’m all for spending what you feel comfortable with, not what the wedding industry/others want you to.

I completely agree – don’t spend more than you and your fiance WANT to spend. My fiance and I could spend a lot more than we are planning to, and have a wedding that would include more family and friends that we are ultimately going to be inviting. Neither of us make large salaries and I have a bunch of student loan debt, but we do well enough to be able to have a bigger wedding. And I went through feeling a lot of guilt and obligation to family. Both my fiance and I have family members who live states away, and I really felt like it was our obligation to have everyone there, to be the reason for all of our families to get together. But after a lot of time and debating back and forth, we have settled on having the small, intimate, low-cost wedding that we both really want and are comfortable with. We want to buy a house, start a family and pay of some of my student loans, and by throwing the kind of wedding that the WIC says we should have, would set all of our plans back years.

You have to do what is right for you. Regardless of who is contributing financially and how much money that you have or can spend on a wedding.

Oh, and the best advice I’ve ever heard was that those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter. Do what’s right for you and those who really love you and get you will probably just “get it”.


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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.

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