Are blogs (sometimes) bad?

Posted on March 26, 2009. Filed under: reality |

Now, you all know that I think you’re fabulous, you who have given me inspiration, support, friendship, and the knowledge that I am not alone in my Crazy, wedding-related or otherwise.  But I am finding myself losing my sh!t way too often lately, and with two months to go, my guy staged a bit of an intervention.

Background: It’s Wedding Wednesday, and we’ve just finished going through a checklist of “stuff.”  Invites, check.  Guest list, check. RSVP options, check.  I ask if he’s thought about first dance songs, and off we go down the YouTube rabbit hole.  90 minutes later, we have a long list of fun and happy songs for our playlist… and two romantic songs, one of which is totally cheesy.


We’re in bed, in the dark, and I’m sniffling because we’re not romantic, I know, but I thought that for this one day, at least… and on and on.  He’s great, he really is, and the bright side to these “sessions” is that I’m reminded how supportive and sweet he is.  And also that he’ll only be sweet and supportive for so long before he gets annoyed and basically asks me to buck up.


And then, as kindly as he can manage, he suggests that Blogs are Bad.  That I am getting caught up in exactly the kind of stuff I used to scoff at, and that it’s becoming a detriment to our (somewhat precarious*) happiness.  This isn’t the first time he’s said it, but it is the first time I’ve really heard him.  I agree to think about it.

I’m a girl who revels in possibility.  I love to dream, to imagine, to consider the options and opportunities.  Wedding blogs have filled in the gaps, helped me imagine pretty things, and provided me with more than a few ideas for which I get full credit (ha).  I’m also a girl who gets overwhelmed when it’s time to choose something, to commit to one of the many options and then forge confidently ahead.  I melt down.  I know this, and so does everyone who’s ever had to hear me obsess about paint colors or invite designs or the pants I just paid full price for.

The hardest part of wedding planning, for me, is finding a balance between everything I wish I was and everything I can’t help but being.  I wish — oh, how I wish — that I was crafty and had one single shred of design sense (in wedding terms) in my body.  I do not.  I do, however, have an abundance of nerve (hello, tent in the street), creativity and furniture.  And the ability (nee, need) to prioritize.

So, I unsubscribed to every wedding inspiration blog in my reader.  With sixty days to go, it’s time to say adios to inspiration and hola to getting things done.  If I haven’t heard of it, pictured it, or imagined it, it’s no longer a possibility.  I will limit my visual inspiration to the pictures I’ve already saved off to my pc.  Wedding information will be on an as-needed basis, and any and all “pushed” communication is cut off.

As with every project, it’s a little bit sad to realize that everything you’ve dreamed of won’t happen.  The family tree I’d planned probably won’t happen (too much dependence on other people’s willingness to hunt down old pictures for me).  The lovey dovey conversations dreaming about our wedding day definitely won’t happen (we’re just not that kind of couple).  My mental photograph of a bride in a vintage lace dress (I’m too busty for vintage) and a bunch of dressed up people grilling steaks in the late afternoon (too difficult to pull off) won’t happen.

But in a few months, I’ll marry a guy that makes me smile, makes me laugh, and makes me believe that this whole marriage thing is worth the risk and rollercoaster.  If he thinks that my Crazy is being exacerbated by the bazillion blog entries I read in a day, I will trust that he is trying to look out for me.  And I will unsubscribe.

Um, except for Weddingbee and A Practical Wedding.  I’m feeling totally justified because those are about the experience of planning a wedding, not the details of said wedding.  Or so I’m telling myself.

Your turn.  Have you hit a Blogs Are Bad point in your wedding planning?


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2 Responses to “Are blogs (sometimes) bad?”

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I was sitting here at my desk (at, ahem, work) thinking about what to put in my comment. But really, what it boils down to is…ditto. so so so ditto. i decreased my wedding blogroll by about 85%. bye bye style me pretty. so long southern weddings. you make me jealous and sad that craig is too reasonable to let me have a picnic reception in the heat and humidity of mid-july. i’ve found the only ones i can really tolerate anymore are the real-life real-mind brides (ie you, practical,10k only, and we met in a bar). i still can’t keep myself from flipping through the others every now and then, but i recite little mantra while I’m doing so (something along the lines of “just look, don’t think, don’t want, just appreciate the pretty).

that was longer than i planned. but really…ditto.

[…] March 26, 2009 Posted by Marisa in Thanks, crafty-crafty. trackback So, back before I unsubscribed to wedding inspiration blogs, I saw this on Junebug […]

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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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