Here we go again

Posted on April 30, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Ladies, I need help.  Once again I’m confronted by the need to make decisions on something for which I have no opinions (my friends would be STUNNED to hear this, I’m sure): the whole bridal party-ceremony-processional-seating-etc situation.  Please share your brilliant, creative, and fabulous plans to save a poor Cheese. Mr. Cheese will even make the pouty face for you.


We have three bridesmaids and groomsmen and a MOH/ BM… so 8 people, plus a flower girl and junior bridesmaid.  My brother and sister — one of the groomsmen and bridesmaids — will likely be our musical team.  Mr. Cheese thinks he wants the groomsmen to stand with him rather than be a part of the processional.  I want it all to be simple and easy, which doesn’t seem to be an option.

  • Can we skip the bridal party processional entirely and just have the flowergirl and jr. bridesmaid precede me?
  • Do I have to have someone with me until the moment before I glide elegantly down the aisle (riiiight) for some reason?  I assume this is for emotional support or to deal with dress issues, but I’m thinking I might want to be alone.
  • If we have a processional, I think I’d like each person to proceed, give J a hug, then go to her seat.  Since the men will be standing with him, the proper time for them to sit seems to be after the last girl finishes and the music changes, right?  Or the woman can hug J, then the groomsman can shake his hand or slap his shoulder or whatever, and they can both go to their seats then… but is that awkward?

Crap, I don’t know… which is why I’m asking you.  What are your processional plans and do you have any recommendations for me?  Smoochies!


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5 Responses to “Here we go again”

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Hi there… Just poking around. Have seen you on WB and just came here through Wedding for Two. I am having the same problem. We want a totally low-key, secular ceremony. If there happens to be aisle, we will be walking together, but that’s about as far as we’ve gotten. How do we deal with music (we are NOT in a church… not sure how our IPOD-ed songs over speakers will sound in our restaurant location), our 2 “witnesses” (aka BM & MOH, but not really…), parents, etc. We want something totally “us” but that means building it all from scrath, and that is frustrating. anywho, long comment to say i get it and can’t wait to see how you figure it all out. Oh, and I love what I’ve seen of your blog/writing!

Hmmm… Let’s see. First of all, when does J appear? Whenever and however he does, it may just be easiest if his people (groomsmen?) appear at the same time. If your ladies want to process, you can simplify by not having them go one at a time. In otherwords, children can go down, then ladies, then you. Upon arriving up front, I’m sure it would be totally appropriate for the ladies to hug the groom… although they may want to wait until you arrive before they go sit down. Unless the men will be taking a seat at the same time. I’m just thinking it could look funny to have the guys still standing up there, and no ladies. Once you arrived everyone else could go sit down at the same time, right?

So… those are just my thoughts. I didn’t have to deal with much of this, as we just had a maid of honor and a best man — no flower girls or anything like that. In terms of seating, though, (which was awkward because we didn’t want a his/her side with an aisle dividing the two families) we thought about putting all the children up front with the best view, their parents behind them, and then the rest of the guests could sit wherever they wanted. This got tweaked a little bit because people involved in the ceremony had to sit upfront for easy access to the bride/groom… however, if seating is posing a problem, organizing something totally non-traditional like that might be the way to go (although I do say “organizing” it… left to their own people can organize themselves… and, at least in our case, we wanted to *prevent* a few cliques from forming!


Oooh, I just re-read your posting and realized I missed your #1 question. Yes, I think that’s a great idea! I’m sure it could be easy to arrange for the groom, his men, and your ladies to all quietly come up front before the ceremony… then stand and wait for the flowergirls/you to come down. Especially since you “aisle” sounds a bit bumpy (I have this visual imagine in my mind’s eye… I hope it’s right!), it might be easier if you were the only one processing down it. Of course, the only drawback to the ladies already being up in front is that you seem to want them to interact with the groom at some point… and I’m not seeing how that would flow, unless the men arrived first, then the ladies (still no processing), the ladies got a turn to hug the groom, and THEN the processing (flower girls, you) began.

Whew! Hope that made sense… Wish I could draw a diagram of what I’m thinking… (Oh boy… that’s the elementary teacher in me!)

I love diagrams! I’m thinking that we can send all of the men down to the ceremony site together, and the groomsmen can help seat people. The BM can stay with J at the bottom. When we’re ready, the bridesmaids can clue the groomsmen in — who will then go stand at the front — and the music will begin. The bridesmaids will walk in together, give Joey a hug, and the groomsmen can then slap him on the ass (or whatever men do) and everyone goes to their seats except the BM and MOH (or maybe them too). I’d like to keep my parents with me but not be escorted by them, so they can walk with me to the top of the “aisle” then proceed together to their seats (or not, whatever). The flower girl/ jr. BM then go as the music changes. I walk by myself.

The critical pieces seem to be a) who I’d like with me just before the whole shebang, b) who J wants with him, and c) how my peeps get to their seats if they stay with me through the very end.

Or (because I totally just changed my mind while commenting on my own blog — dork), maybe I’ll just hold court at the last stop before the big aisle (it’s hidden from the seating and is under a beautiful dogwood tree), and send people off as they proceed. Bridesmaids, then parents, then MOH, then the girls and I will head to the aisle. That’s probably the simplest, though I suspect the order isn’t traditional.

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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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