I should be doing something productive right now

Posted on May 12, 2009. Filed under: emotional |

That’s how I feel all the time.  With just over 10 days to go, the proverbial shit is hitting the fan.  Our house is trashed, owing to trying to get things done without stopping to breathe.  Paint this, clean that, run to Hell Depot for the nineteenth time.

But it’s okay.  Really.  It’ll all turn out okay.  I’m sitting on a chair under a tree blogging working in a slight breeze and brilliant sunshine on the green, green lawn.  Even the dogs are cooperating, having taken a break from wrestling to lay in the sun.  I’m taking nice deep breaths and starting to believe that it’ll all be just fine.

Last night, though, was a rough one.  I was bone tired.  Instead of taking a 30 minute nap like a smart girl should, I dragged myself around with a coffee cup in hand, going and going and going until I realized I was on the verge of tears for no good reason.  And then suddenly I was on the verge no more, tears streaming down my face and “I just wanna give uuuuuppppp” in my head.  This whole wedding thing can do that to the laziest most balanced of souls.

Take my advice: suggest to your man that when you hit this Suddenly I’m Crying For No Good Reason stage, telling you that Nothing Is That Important Or Worth All of This is not the way to go.  While he’ll mean well, it just feels like Nobody Cares But Me And It’s Supposed To Be OUR Wedding And I’m The Only One Doing Anything (this might be true if “doing anything” = “freaking out”).  Suggest instead that they take your hand, tell you they’ll marry you even if ___ isn’t finished, and ask for your to-do list.  Much more effective.  Mr. Cheese tried the former and then (thankfully for everyone) opted for the latter.
Thank goodness men (most men? some men? or maybe just my man?) don’t take these things personally.

In fact, if you’re more than two weeks from your wedding — and especially if you have months to go — take a moment to think about what someone else can do to calm you down and reassure you when you’re overtired, overstimulated and overcommitted.  Right now, make that list, then send it to your fiance and your best friend.  Tell them to open the attachment (or read the email or whatever) and file the information away for later use, just in case you find yourself with a paint brush in hand and tears running down your face while proclaiming the necessity of some cool but unnecessary DIY project.  You’ll all thank me later.

Now I’d better run.  My conference call is over so I have no excuse to sit in front of my laptop and blog.


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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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