My people, part I

Posted on July 9, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: |

Up until a few years ago, I’d never really been a fan of women.  Frankly, they scared me.  A few bad break-ups (the friendship kind) in high school and college, a few intimidating (or, let’s be honest, silly) girlfriends of good male friends, a few too many snarky comments – I was done.  I had a few male friends and my mom. That was it.

And then, at a very low point in my life, I met L.  She was my vet, actually, one of many vets I’d had in my life, but for some reason, meeting her changed my life.  She was so funny and smart and sweet, and for just a second, I wondered what it would be like to be friends with her.

And then I was.

Since those days, more than two years ago, she’s moved on to bigger cities and better dreams, and I miss her all the time.  But she boarded a flight and bought a dress and traveled all the way across the country for little ol’ me.  And I needed her.

Because she, too, laughs with her whole body.


Because she jumps in to help without a second thought.


Because my life is a little bit brighter, a little bit happier, when she’s in it.  Her laugh makes me laugh,

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her smile makes me smile,

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her infectious enthusiasm makes my heart sing. Um, literally.


And through her, I met J.  She is, quite simply, a sister to me.  A woman with very few personal boundaries, she makes everyone feel a little bit more honest, a little bit more normal, a little bit like you’re not alone.  Okay, a lot.  When she’s around, I don’t worry.  Let me repeat.  I. Don’t. Worry.  I know she loves me and has my best interests at heart, and I trust her completely.  This emotional honesty thing you all like about me?  I learned it from her.

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And I love this face.

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And this one.


And especially this slightly mischievous one.  I love everything about her.

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As part of the husband deal, I got his sister, who is hilarious and talented and super sweet.  They look nothing alike, but act so similarly that I can’t help but love her.  Not only did she check in periodically and offer her errand-running services, she offered to make our bouquets… and WOW. (More on that later.)


Together with my mom, who understands me better than I do,


and my sister, who is the slightly more fun and significantly more stylish version of me,


they got me through the day before and of our wedding.

I wrote them thank you notes…


and I hugged them…


and I gave them vintage purses and little makeup bags and many, many apologies… when all along I should have just said, “I love you.”

Without my mom, there would be no me (literally, but also emotionally).  Without my sister, there would be no wedding (since she goaded me into going out the night I met my husband). And without him, I wouldn’t know SIL. Without L, I wouldn’t know J, and without J, I wouldn’t be sane.  And if I’d never met L, I wouldn’t have discovered the wonderful world of women… and I NEVER would have had the guts to blog.


And without you all, I wouldn’t feel like my life is held safe surrounded by this silken web of connections with women.  When I need something, even just to share, you are there.  I love you, too.

But don’t worry, I won’t grab your boobies.

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Someday, I’ll share this story with my daughter (or, hell, maybe my son).  Trust women, I will say, because you are one of them, and in their love you will find peace. (Okay, maybe not appropriate for a son, but there are always girls needing to hear that, don’t you think?)

And that’s how I got through the morning of our wedding… by leaning very heavily on this group of women.  And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Female friendships that work are relationships in which women help each other to belong to themselves.
— Louise Bernikow

Want more Cheese?

Part I: And It Begins

All photography by Angela Herzog of Angela Herzog Photography ( unless otherwise noted.  Asterisks (*) indicate that post-processing was done by me, and thus, should not be held against her.  See this post for more details.


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6 Responses to “My people, part I”

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🙂 Love.

I love you cheese…I’m going to have to wait until you are done with your recaps to do mine, because they will pale in comparison.
And, I totally feel you on that woman thing…

So eloquent, you. Love this. Where would we be without our girls?!

[…] Part II: My People, Part I Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)A peek inside my head…Growing number of Brits say “peace” to the U.K.Sit-in at BYU’s JFSB QuadLiving Statues Go on Display […]

[…] Part II: My People, Part I […]

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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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