Archive for December, 2009

Help an indecisive Cheese-ball out?

Posted on December 17, 2009. Filed under: wedding recaps |

Hi, peeps!  While I put off finishing my last recap (because then I’d be finished *sob*), I thought I’d throw in a post or two about life on the other side of that whole wedding thing.  But let’s keep it wedding-related by talking about wedding photos, mkay?

More specifically, how do you decide which photos to actually display?

Step 1: Do nothing.  Wait until your fabulous parents send you a photo they thoughtfully converted to canvas, mounted and framed as your Christmas gift.  Then feel terrible that you haven’t sent anyone else wedding pictures and frantically try to pick a few to send as Christmas gifts.  On the day before you have to mail said gifts across the country.

Step 2: Freak out.  How do you choose pictures of yourself to send to other people?  Narcissism, much?

Step 3: Calm down.  Remember that this was a big event for both families and of course they’d like photographic evidence, if only to embarrass you by showing your future children at some future date.  Choose the least goofy family pictures for printing. 

Then print one goofy one specifically to embarrass your brother at a specific future date.

1762 BW

Step 4: Freak out.  Family photos were an easy choice, but don’t parents also like portraits of the married couple? My favorites are the (you guessed it) cheesy pics like this:

1787

or this:

1794

… but I’m thinking our parents might like more formal shots, like this:

1798

Step 5: Back to calm. You can do this. Even an indecisive person like you can do this.  Really.

Step 6: Freak out.  Now that your parents have sent you the one really awesome wedding pic, it looks very lonely as the only thing hanging on your very large, very bare wall (or it would if you could find the picture hangers and convince your husband to put a hole in the wall, but that’s another story).  You need to frame and hang more photos to go on the newly-christened photo wall.  The only thing worse than picking photos for your family is picking photos of yourself.

Step 7: Calm down.  Remember that you blog for a really fantastic wedding blog filled with decisive peeps who will help you choose which pics to frame (and maybe remind you that you’re supposed to put up photos of yourselves on your wedding day, narcissism or not).

This is the photo that my parents converted to canvas:

1839

It’s perfect.  Help me decide what pictures to hang around it.

Option 1: All black and white. All people. All silly.

1775 BW 2140 BW2059 BW2152 BW    1725

1423 BW

1733

Option 2: Just us. Mostly silly. Mostly color.

 1780 

 1787

1794

1795 

1806 1808

1812 1811

What do you think? {Note to Weddingbee: please insert a poll with three options: “All black and white.  All people.  All silly.” and “Just us.  Mostly silly.  Mostly color.” and “Other (give me the scoop in the comments!)”  Gracias.}

Oooh, one last question: should I send people flattering (framed) pictures of themselves?  I know that I never have decent pictures of myself (well, until this photographic extravaganza), but I’m also not sure I would display one… so what do you think?

Okay, okay, TWO last questions: I’m leaning toward small-ish 4×6 prints so that our faces don’t jump at you when you visit our home. Thoughts?

All photography by Angela Herzog of Angela Herzog Photography (www.angelaherzogphotography.com) unless otherwise noted. See this post for more details.

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In defense of weddings

Posted on December 1, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I’ve kept my mouth shut for a long time (hard to believe, I know), but I have to say it: there is nothing wrong with wanting (and having) a really nice wedding, whatever your definition of nice may be. 

I know, I know, I’m preaching to the choir here, but it must be said.  By me.  So I can get it off my chest and move on.

Do you know what I’m talking about? 

You find out someone’s engaged and congratulate them, and the first thing they say is, “But don’t worry, we don’t want a real wedding.”  Or someone mentions a wedding and everyone else tells stories of people who were so ____ (insert desirable trait here, like “in love” or “practical” or “not into what other people think”) that they didn’t have a wedding, they just went to the courthouse.  Everyone else croons, “Oh, how wonderful” and then feels compelled to talk about how they wished they’d done that.

Not me.

I don’t wish for one minute that we didn’t have a wedding.  Despite the cost, the frustration, the confusion in my own head about why and what and how, it was worth it.  Completely worth it.  Our people came together and celebrated with us.  We wore clothes that made us feel good and important and special.  Sure, they’re just clothes, but don’t you dress up for important occasions like baptisms and graduations and for heaven’s sakes, first dates?

There’s something romantic about being so wrapped up in each other you don’t care who’s with you to celebrate your nuptials – and certainly if that’s your thing, I think it’s awesome – but there’s something romantic, too, about putting up with all manner of ridiculousness and drama to be able to enjoy one day that’s just about your relationship.  Not you, or you and your husband, but your relationships with each other, with your families, between families.

Sometimes I look back and I think, “We could have gone on a really fabulous vacation for the money we spent.”  Other times, “Gosh, everyone else spent so much money, too, just on being here.”  And I do sometimes wish we could say we were so ready to get on with our lives that we just did the paperwork and moved on.

But I’m not a “do the paperwork” kind of girl.  I’m a sentimental one who clearly was not ready to be married when we were first engaged.  Being engaged, planning a wedding, getting through the drama and the frustration and the questioning of, well, everything – I needed all those things to be good at being married.

Being engaged was good training for being married.  We built the skills we use every day: negotiation, trust, choosing appropriate times, silence (for me) and active listening (for him).

Getting married doesn’t necessarily require a wedding, but going through the process certainly enhanced our marriage, and I don’t regret it.

So when I hear about how romantic or practical or sane it was that someone didn’t need to bother with a wedding, I’m glad for them.  And then I pipe up, briefly, to say that we really enjoyed being surrounded by our families and friends when we decided to give away our single lives (wocka, wocka) and that it was worth every penny.

When I was engaged, I felt the unspoken pressure to make excuses for having a real wedding, to blame my parents or my husband or my family’s traditions for making me go through with it.  For a while I even tried to convince myself that I had no choice.  But I did, and clearly it was my choice, since my sweet husband would have gone along with whatever made me happy.  And I’m glad I chose our wedding.

Wedding are awesome and I’m not afraid to say so.  Because it needs to be said, don’t you think?

{Disclaimer: if you don’t want a “real wedding,” that’s great, too.  I’ve been there.  But if you do, if you really do, don’t feel the need to hide it.  You’re not a Bridezilla for wanting a wedding, even if you want your bridesmaids to match and your hair done just so.  “Bridezilla” is about your attitude, not your choices.  You can not care one bit about details and still be a Bridezilla if you’re mean or thoughtless about it all.}

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    About

    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.

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