The Big E

Posted on January 6, 2009. Filed under: dreaming |

Today, dear friends, I’m dreaming about the big E.

E. L. O. P. I. N. G. *Eloping* Eloping!

Now, don’t lie to me — you think about it, too.  At 3 am when you’re up to your elbows in glue and slips of paper that are somehow supposed to turn into beautiful, professional-looking invitations all MacGyver-like, it crosses your mind.  When your fiance says, “whatever you want, Honey” when you bring up the bazillionth wedding-related difficulty that’s keeping you up at night, you think, “if only.”  When you contemplate the flexing of diplomatic muscles required to handle all of your visiting family, in one place at one time, in a city they know nothing about (and you do), never mind the likelihood that some or many of them will be staying with you — oh, you think about it.

Oh, or maybe that’s me?!

I have it all dreamed out.  We’d wake up together, drink coffee and giggle in bed before splitting up to get ready.  I’d wear a prim dress and fantastic heels, and he’d wear his favorite jeans and a button-down shirt.  We’d pick up coffee and grab our camera, then smooch and snuggle while waiting in line in the marble lobby of an old government building.  Our vows would be just between us, and we’d tear up just a bit, able to ignore the needs and wants and comfort of the witnesses we didn’t know.  We’d leave holding hands and grinning like fools.  Would we tell anyone?  Maybe.  Probably.  Maybe not!  It could be our secret.  We’d go someplace special afterward, maybe the brewery where we met.  We’d sit at the bar and giggle, drink a beer, share super fattening snacks and feel like we were in our own little world.

Maybe we’d plan a party and not tell people why, then announce that we’d gotten married… but probably not.  We’re weird about announcing news — we never have figured out how to work in the news that we’re engaged during a conversation, so it’s unlikely we’d be anything but uncomfortable announcing our elopement.  More likely, we’d throw a party where people would know that they were coming to celebrate our new marriage, but it would be casual.  Steaks on the grill, friends assembling side dishes (while munching on them), lots of beer in coolers and wine bottles lined up and waiting to be opened.  We could have a bonfire, and spontaneous toasts, and maybe, just maybe a roving photographer capturing the funness.  Our house would be lit up by twinkling lights, and somehow tables and chairs and silverware and glassware and trashcans and trash bags and an ice cream sundae bar would magically appear without any planning.  Someone would finally hook up our speaker system and we’d dance on the lawn.

Sigh.  Spontaneous parties don’t happen when your family lives across the country, and I love my people too much to not want to share this with them.  Would it be too much to ask that they travel in from out of town and then throw us a party at our own house?  *giggle*  We could leave to get married and they could get the party ready for our return!

I’m stressed.  We have so much work to do on our home and property, and the pressure of having a “wedding” is really weighing on me — and when I get stressed, I want to boil it all down to the very basics, the essence, the point of it all.  “Weddings” mean (to me) that things have to look nice, and that food has to be ready and waiting, and that everything has to be organized, planned, on a schedule.  I’d much prefer a really great “party,” and if my people lived closer, I’d go with my dream without a second thought.  As it stands, I have a much-too-fussy dress and a lot of details to work out, and I’d better get back to that.  I think I’d rather build or buy tables for 60 people than rent them, at this point.  Sigh.  More on that later.

Do you dream of the “E”?  What stopped you from going through with it?

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Saving it until marriage…

Posted on December 10, 2008. Filed under: dreaming | Tags: |


Saving the holiday decorating, that is.  After Miss Powder Puff’s post about giving Christmas decorations as wedding gifts (fabulous idea, PP!), and my post mentioning “pre-nesting” as a downside of living together, I decided that we’ll save at least a few traditions for our year as newlyweds.  The mister agreed!  {I’m guessing that part of his ready agreement has to do with suddenly realizing how much time and effort goes into getting a tree, not to mention the decisions — fake or real, cut or live, themes or not, star or angel, breakable ornaments or not, etc, etc!}

I love getting ready for Christmas.  I like to make hot chocolate, put something yummy in the oven for dinner, play holiday tunes (my favorite playlists all come from Starbucks!), and wrestle with the tree.  It’ll be fun to talk with each other about holiday memories and crazy family and traditions we’d like to have with our new family, so we’re going to wait until after we’re married.  Oh, and then we can have a tree trimming party!!

What newlywed traditions (or activities) are you looking forward to or saving for after the big day?

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Wedding dreams… one picture

Posted on September 26, 2008. Filed under: dreaming |

Somewhere along the line I got the impression that if we were limited by time and budget, we (read: I) wouldn’t be able to get caught up in wedding planning. We’d have to prioritize, be practical, and not get carried away. That’s me. Practical. Except when I’m not, of course.

Now that we’re on pause, I have plenty of time to think and no reason to stress, and I’m trying to get back to what I imagined our wedding would be.

I wanted vintage lace, and a classic getaway car, and a bunch of dressed up people hanging out in a super casual setting like our backyard. I wanted a picture of me lounging in a garden chair holding my husband’s hand. He’d be wearing a suit with the tie loosened and I’d be in a glamorous (yet elegant and perfectly appropriate) dress, and our hands would be loosely entwined while we laughed with our friends. There would be martinis. And finger foods. We’d be surrounded by the glow of candlelight, the gentle laughter of our friends and family (ahem, loud hilarity), and the love and support of our people. That picture, the one I just described, would be in black and white, and we’d blow it up and frame it. Our grandchildren would see it and not notice it until they considered the wedding pictures they wanted. They would want one like ours.

What pictures are on your list? Are you specifying quasi-candid shots like this one?

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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.


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