Archive for January, 2009

Napkin drama…

Posted on January 30, 2009. Filed under: reality |

source

… or lack thereof.

All along, my personal Bridezilla limit was getting all worked up making sure the napkins matched everything else.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I admire and respect the use of napkins to continue a color scheme or theme throughout a room, but I’m at peace with the fact that I’m neither inclined nor capable of doing that without angst.

And yet, twice now I’ve found myself stressing over what color napkins go best with yellow or light gray or poppy colored linens.  TWICE.  I’ve debated making them myself (all you need is a Serger, and I’ve wanted one for years), buying them on eBay, or having them embroidered with our monogram (sweet, right?).  I find myself driving and thinking, “Maybe light blue on gray?  Wait, that might be too boring.”

This is crazy.

Therefore, I am making an executive decision.  We will be using regular disposable paper napkins.  And they might not even be color-coordinated.

There, I said it.  There comes a time in a bride’s life when she just has to put her foot down and decide that she is not going to spend another minute worrying about it.  I’ll spend that time working on our ceremony or hugging my husband-to-be or petting my cats.  Heck, I might even train a dog to do a trick.

Are you horrified?

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My secret source

Posted on January 29, 2009. Filed under: the goods |

I have yet another secret to share with you.  If you, like me, are trying to have a great home or backyard wedding on an extreme budget, you will love me.

It’s a fabulous place where you can get basic stuff that you need for very little money; so little, in fact, that you might be tempted to buy your glassware and tableware rather than mess with renting them.  Because, dear friend, while renting dishes sounds like it’s the best thing ever, it’s not.  Before you return said dishes, you have to wash them.  Um, what?  Yes.  Wash. Well, okay, technically not “wash,” since you don’t have to use soap, but you must remove all food particles and ensure that they are “eye clean” before returning them.  Swear.

WTF?

Given that, spending a fraction more to avoid dealing with it all seems worth it, at least to me.  And we all know what a cheapo I am.

Anyway, back to my point: this place is awesome for gals trying to plan simple, meaningful, straightforward weddings with a minimum of madness (and thus, vendors).  And when it’s all said and done, you can keep them.  You never know when you need to throw another party for 80 people, or when you just want to throw a dish.

Here, I’ll show you.

img_0921Terrible picture.  Bummer.  However, how cute are those plates?  And who doesn’t love glasses all lined up and ready for imbibing?  The mister digs the pilsner glasses on the far right; I’m debating etching them with our monogram.  The big wine glasses on the far left are my favorite.  We’ll buy some of the goblets in the dead center for non-alcoholic drinks and margaritas, totalling somewhere near 120 glasses for 80 people.  I heart glassware, and these will be perfect for parties in our future — there’s that “lasting” thing I was going for.

Here’s a (terrible photo) closeup of the plate, 80 of which are now sitting in precarious piles in my dining room:

img_0833‘Scuse the background… that’s the stainless steel countertop in the room with the most light. The green is slightly brighter, more of an apple green.

Where’d I get ’em?  The Dollar Tree.  For. One. Dollar. Each. (Just in case you weren’t sure how that worked.)

Honestly, I just buy a few dozen every time I drive by and have an extra 10 minutes.  Grand total: $200 for 80 plates, 40 pilsners, 40 wine glasses, and 40 goblets, all of which we can reuse.

Wanna see more goodies that I’m debating buying?

Wouldn’t these be perfect for our sundae bar?  The only reason I didn’t buy them is that they seem a little too small.

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These will hold more ice cream!

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Vases.  They’re not exactly the shape I wanted, but heck, they’re cheap!

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These bud vases are sweet.

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Do you have any secret sources for inexpensive supplies?  And does anyone have any tips for somehow mimicking (or importing or copying) the design from the dishes onto my invites?

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I’ve been a busy bee… wocka, wocka

Posted on January 28, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

So, on my last post, I got called out on the fact that I’ve been blogging about planning a wedding, and not actually telling you about the plans!  {Honestly, I’m kinda flattered that you care! Awwww.}

And whoa, boy, have I been busy.  You’ll be proud (and if you’re not, can you fake it for me, because I’m rather proud?) of how much I’ve done in a few short weeks.

What prompted the flurry of activity, you ask?  Why, a BRIDAL FAIR!  Uh, huh, a whole bunch of vendors in a big convention center all asking, “Do you have a caterer? Have you ordered your linens?  Who’s doing your rentals? Have you taken dance lessons? Where are you getting your dresses? Do you need a room for your wedding night?” does WONDERS for getting your patootie in gear and getting things done.  And let’s be honest, so does the fact that at some point, y’all were bound to catch the fact that I was all talk and no inspiration.  {Thank you for loving me anyway.}

If you haven’t yet been to one, I do have a couple of hints to offer (most of which I failed to do and could have kicked myself over):

  • Take return address labels.  Seriously.  You’ll be asked a thousand times if you want to sign up for a drawing (“Yea, so you can get my email address,” I wanted to say every time… but I still did it), and rather than write out your information every time, slap one of those pre-printed puppies on there and they’ll be so impressed.  That’s bound to help you in negotations later, right?  Heck, if you’re really on top of it all, print out some labels that have your full name, phone number, mailing address, email address and wedding date.
  • Take advantage… and take your calendar.  If you need to choose linens (like me), you can book appointments with three different companies on the spot, and then you won’t have any excuses left for why you haven’t booked the appointment.  Bonus: you can say to vendor #2, “I just came from vendor #1’s booth and if I book within the next 30 days, they’ll give me 25% off.  Are you offering a similar discount?”
  • Take a good friend and an appetite.  There will be food samples galore, and you’ll want more opinions than your own (yes, I often have multiple opinions).  You’ll get to decide how you feel about “fancy” food (you know, the kind you have to sniff first before you decide if you want to eat it) before you meet with your caterer, and you’ll get some ideas.

I took some pictures for you (I know nothing about picture taking, so forgive me).

Lemons!

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Dig the lemons and apples.  The pineapple?  Not so much.

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And, just to prove that bridal shows don’t have to be all about your wedding… how awesome is this little room simulation?  I want it.

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Coming soon, the details… on the tent (in the street!), the linens (and how to avoid renting them, if you so desire), the tableware (you won’t believe where I bought, yes, bought mine), and *gasp* self-catering.  Yes, I really am that crazy.  Everyone I share any of the details with agrees, but our couples counselor says it’s okay to be myself (*snort*).  Oh, yea, I also have to tell you about dance lessons, wedding planner meetings, and the chicken’s guide to negotiating.  And we’re making progress on the wedding party attire, have a date almost set for DIY hair flowers and veils, and I’m almost ready to print invitations… on a seriously extreme budget.

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Favorite words, part II

Posted on January 27, 2009. Filed under: inspiration |

I’ve collected quotes for a while, copied into the notes section of my email program. Here are a few more of my favorites:

She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.
~Toni Morrison, Beloved

“A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.”
~ Charles Kingsley (1819-75)

“You must never feel badly about making mistakes,” explained Reason quietly, “as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.”

~Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.”

~Anna Louise Strong

“The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved — loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

~Victor Hugo

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

~Judy Garland

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.”
~James Baldwin

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
~Albert Camus

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.
~Robert Southey (1774-1843)

I am learning to live close to the lives of my friends without ever seeing them. No miles of any measurement can separate your soul from mine.
~John Mu

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
~Michel de Montaigne

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Posted on January 27, 2009. Filed under: back to good |

My dearest mister:

I know that the all-wedding, all-the-time mode that I seem to be on is tiring for you, especially because I know that you’d be perfectly happy with a quick courthouse wedding and a nice dinner out.  I also know that part of the reason that my obsessing drives you nuts is that, it seems to you, it just leads to me stressing out.  You hate to see me stressed out, you sweet man, and sometimes you think that I work myself into a tizzy over things that don’t matter.  Fair point.

Here’s the thing: the most important thing to me is that I get to marry you, but only slightly less important is the idea of celebrating that milestone with our people.  Since that leaves eloping out, we have a minimum of stuff to get through in order to make a wedding happen, and I need us to do it together – because I can’t do it all alone, because I don’t want to do it all alone, because I want to be doing this with you.  You’re my favorite guy, and this thing is all about us.  It’s exciting to me, and I want to share exciting things with you!

So, with your agreement, I propose a new way of working together.  I think we can agree that I care more about the details than you do and that I am more specific about what I like and don’t like, so for that reason, I will do the legwork.  I will find the inspiration photos, narrow them down to the ones I like, and present them to you, because not only do I want to plan our wedding together, I want you to be involved, and that means discussion.  I know that you may not have a preference, but I’d like you to consider the options and come up with one, then tell me why.  That’s what I like – the discussion.  The dreaming.  The planning of the future together.

In exchange, I’ll stop griping about how I have to do a thousand things and you only have to do ten.  I’ll choose a regular date and time for us to talk about our wedding, and I’ll keep my wedding-related thoughts outside of that time to a minimum.  I’ll get my act together and under control so that I don’t feel like all thousand of the things I have to do need to be done now.  They don’t. (But if I say they do, you will trust me that they do and then do them).  Of the two of us, I will be the planner but I will remember that you are the doer and I’ll follow your lead there.  I’ll remember that you’d much rather get things done than talk about them, so we’ll come up with things to accomplish in addition to things to plan, each week.

Forgive me if I get all “work-y” on you, by the way.  In the end, I know that you just don’t want me to be unhappy, and the best way I know to be comfortable with details is to handle them with all of the professionalism I’d throw at them at work.  Except with the happy benefit that we can drink wine while meeting… and maybe even make out a little.

This is going to be fun! (and if not fun, then at least productive)….

Lovingly yours,
Cheese

At the urging of a few kind readers (looking at you, suzanno), we are now re-instituting Wedding Planning Meetings. Every so often before we go to bed, I hop into my comfy blankets with my planner, laptop, and a notebook in hand… and my future husband next to me.  I hand him a written agenda (I’m pretty sure he just likes to know how far from the end of the list we are) and he gives me his attention while I show him pictures, describe my ideas, and outline the pros and cons.  He thinks for a second, then offers his opinion.  I won’t lie, sometimes when I then reply to his opinion with my thoughts, he gets annoyed (“But I just told you what I liked, and now you’re telling me that’s wrong?” “No, I’m just giving you my opinion now.” “Then why did you show me something you don’t even like?” “BECAUSE I’M NOT SURE AND I WANT TO DISCUSS IT!”… <he thinks> “What’s it worth to you?”), but it’s better than before.

And surprise of all surprises, he thanks me after every session — for including him, for not making him guess what he needs to do, for doing the groundwork.

Funny thing is, we used to do this, and then we postponed our wedding and I stopped scheduling them.  Somewhere, deep down, I was hoping that we’d have the discussions naturally (and evidently while laying in a meadow and eating strawberries off each other’s bodies, sheesh!) so I fought what was in front of my face: if I schedule it, he’ll play along.  Lesson learned — stop wishing, start doing what works.

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Favorite words…

Posted on January 26, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I’m a words girl.  These words are some of my favorites.

When I talk about “my people,” this is the context I’m referring to.  I can’t think of a more concise description of what marriage is.

Ruth 1:16 – “Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me.”

This is my definition of intimacy:

George Eliot – “Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”

And this one?  This one is the goal, the reminder that you are to be each other’s shelter and support:

Apache Wedding Prayer
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

I haven’t yet gotten deep into research for our ceremony, but I have no doubt that these words will end up in it… because I think of them often in our lives. What are your favorite words?

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Help me help you

Posted on January 22, 2009. Filed under: please |

{You know the movie reference, right?}

Yesterday’s rant about our dear fiances and their sometime lack of understanding of the bazillion details that brides have to handle struck a chord with me.  Yea, duh, since I wrote it, but also because I so related to all of your comments.  I kept thinking, I’m having a hard time with the details — yea, because I don’t want to have to deal with them and because it annoys me that Mr. Stinky Cheese has no clue how much I’m dealing with — but I’m not having to worry about the task management aspect.  Meaning, I’m a trained project manager, perfectly capable of handling dependencies and shifting timelines and priorities and delegations in my head.  Woe to the poor girls who have to plan a whole wedding without that background.

But I might be way off base.  Perhaps it’s easier for the rest of humanity (first-world brides, anyway) to deal with it than me.  Maybe it’s my background that causes my frustration that it’s not easier and faster.  Maybe if I buckled down and got it all together, I’d be better off.  But if that’s not the case, and you’re struggling too, what do you need?  How can I help?  Who knows, maybe it’ll make me get it together and treat this like a work project.  There are a thousand templates and checklists and systems out there, and quite a few good references on this site.  Would it be helpful for me to aggreggate them into one post?  Do you want a one-stop-shop with pros and cons of the major wedding planning tools out there?  If I built a simple wedding planning project plan, would that help?  I quickly gave up on much of what was out there because my wedding doesn’t require it all, and I didn’t want to figure out what was necessary and what was (to me) fluff.

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Relax, get through it, if you want to get to it

Posted on January 21, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: |

“Don’t you ever think about anything else?” he asked in all honesty and naivete, not knowing the kind of wrath that question could invoke.

We were laying in bed and I’d just asked if he’d thought about what the groomsmen should wear, because the guy on the TV commercial looked pretty good in dark slacks with a white shirt and tie.

I just stared at him, not sure how to respond, but certain that I felt offended, upset, annoyed, and maybe, just maybe, like he had a point.  I don’t think about much else these days, yet I feel like I am justified in obsessing a little.  We’re four months away from our wedding at our home and I’m only now doing any real planning – and a flurry of it, I’ll admit.

“Honey, we’re only four months away from our wedding, and I’m only now doing any real planning,” I explained.  “Many weddings take much longer than that to plan.”  He thought that four months seemed like plenty of time, and then he said it, his second dangerous phrase of the night:

“I’m sure it’ll all come together.”

Um, yea.  I’m sure you do think it’ll all come together, since you’re not doing any of it unless I spoon feed the topics to you, complete with well-researched images and well thought out considerations.  I’m sure you do just assume that weddings happen, since you are male and men tend to think ridiculous things like that.  I’m sure you do believe that it’ll be fine, just like you thought that getting married at our home would be simple (I agreed because while it’s not simple, it is romantic).

So I let loose.  Without taking the time or energy to adjust my phrasing or delivery to limit the load of stress I was about to throw at him, I blurted out every single thing that had to be decided, from how many tables and what size and where they’ll go to where people will park and what they’ll wear and how they’ll know to be here.  Y’all know the drill, but evidently he was clueless, no matter how many times I’ve explained that weddings require a thousand little details, all of which are absolutely necessary.  Meaning, even if you cut out every DIY, every sweet touch, every bit of personalization, you still have to decide what time and when people should get there and what they’ll do and where they’ll sit.  Decide to host the thing yourselves at your home, and whoo, boy, things get crazy at an exponential rate.  Where will we stash the litterboxes?  Will the kitchen ever be in photos (because if it will be… um, it won’t be, we’ll have to put screens in the doorways)? OMG WE NEED TO GET THE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM UPDATED ASAP.

I thought I’d be saved from much of this because in the end, I just want to marry my man.  I thought I could avoid choosing color schemes or counting napkins or dealing with contracts by making specific decisions: all white, disposable, no vendors.  That was before I found out that whites don’t match (so then they look dingy), people want you to guide them in how to dress (or else they feel a bit lost) and you cannot avoiding working with at least a few vendors (hello, tent).  Not caring about the color scheme doesn’t absolve you from having to, in the end, choose something.  Anything, in fact, but something.

And saying, “I want this” and plopping down an inspiration picture doesn’t work nearly as well as I’d hoped, either.  “Exactly this, or like this?”  Of course, they don’t have exactly that, and anyway, neither do I.  I could hire a wedding planner, but my issue isn’t with managing the tasks (I take professional pride in my ability to make and manage lists of details and tasks that all rely on each other, thankyouverymuch), it’s with deciding, nee, caring enough to decide what I want.  Everything I see would work, ya know?  And any of it would be beautiful.

And my guy?  Bless that Y chromosome, he’s oblivious.  As long as it’s not too girly, he’s fine with it, and if it gets him out of having to be involved, he’ll even take the girly.  So we have two people who want something nice and fun and appropriate without having any idea what that means to them.  And one of them isn’t planning to do any planning, because he can’t fathom that it’s even needed.

I’m going to have to get over my unwillingness to drag the mister into this, have a nice, calm, “HERE’S HOW LIFE WORKS, MISTER” discussion (there will be wine), and then ignore the eye-rolling that will commence thereafter.  Yes, we need to get our registry together, and yes, you need to be involved. Yes, you have to look at the invitations if for no other reason than that I don’t need to deal with the fact that you think “with regrets” is smartass-y after they’ve been printed.  Yes, you need to decided what the groomsmen will be wearing right now so that I can email them myself, because I know you don’t believe that it needs to be done at all, much less soon, and I don’t ever want to have to talk about it again.  If we’re in this whole life thing together, it’s time to be in this whole ball-of-wedding-stress world together, too.  He’s escaped it for long enough.

Whew.  That was a long rant.  Your turn.  How have you dealt with what I’ll call “The Y Chromosome Syndrome” – the one that leads one human being to say to another, “Relax.  You’re worrying too much.  It’ll all work out somehow”?

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Didja miss me?

Posted on January 20, 2009. Filed under: inspiration |

Why, hello, there, hive! How the heck are ya?  It’s been a while, I know… don’t hate me.  I’ve been a busy little bee, and you’ve been well taken care of by the other fabulous bees (and c’mon, don’t you just love the new bees to death?).

Before I take you through the details of the stuff I’ve been doing (you’ll be so proud of me, I promise… more on that later*), have you seen this site?

source

I’ll admit, they totally had me with that tag line, but then I found this in a section titled “For the Bride”:

Have you lost your voice, strained your “stink eye” and threw your shoulder getting him to help?

All’s not lost. You might just need to deliver the message in a way that he’s more comfortable with. After all, men are creatures of habit. And picking flowers, linens and fruit platters are not habits they have picked up. Yet.

So how can we help?

Just click on the type that best describes your guy and we’ll let you deliver all his to-do’s in a way he can easily relate to. Ta da!

Short Attention Span Man gets a pdf “sticky note” version of things they have to do, Day Planner gets a calendar version and Middle Manager gets a slide show.  *laugh!*

source

Highlights of the list include To Do #22 with four months to go: Get Away For the Weekend; To Do #27 with three months to go: Call Your Mother; and To Do #37 with three months to go: Check Under Her Hood (“And if you don’t complain about the condition of her car, she may let you use your dip stick on her as well.  Vroom vroom.”)  C’mon, that’s funny, I don’t care who ya are.

Have you seen any other laugh-worthy methods for getting grooms involved??

*Have I ever blogged without promising to give you more details on that later?  Doubtful.

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Confessions of a second-time bride, part II

Posted on January 13, 2009. Filed under: back to good |

Part I

The problem is that I want it all.  I want it all because I don’t want to have regrets, but if you’re the kind of person who is afraid of regrets, chances are you’ll find them no matter what.  (I know of what I speak.)  I want a traditional wedding, an intimate wedding, and a private wedding all at once, and I believe I can make that happen.

So, I sat myself down and made lists: what appealed to me about eloping, what appealed to me about a traditional wedding, and anything stressing me out.  The rest of this post is taken directly from my private notes, and I made a sincere effort not to edit in case my thought process is helpful to anyone else.  Yes, I’m nutty.  I’m okay with that.

  • Elopement (my version – a private ceremony with a reception to follow): private, personal, low-stress (less stress about other people, anyway)
  • Wedding: public, higher-stress (all around), meaningful
  • Stress Factors: catering/ food, seating, expectations, “guests”, wedding parties, walking down the aisle

I can do this!  Stressful things first (in reverse order, for some reason):

  • Walking down the aisle*: I want us to approach our ceremony site together, with a moment to chat and de-stress first.  This avoids the mess of figuring out who walks me down the aisle and my fear that I won’t feel what I want to feel when we see each other (I tend to disengage when I’m embarassed).  Also, the romantic in me loves the idea of leaning on my guy as we pick our way down the treacherous path.  I’d like us to get ready separately, then meet somewhere to have a quiet moment. Everyone else will head to our ceremony location, and when we’re ready, we’ll head down the hill.  How to cue people that we’re coming?  Bell ringers!  We’ll send people/ kids/ someone down ahead of us ringing bells!
  • Wedding parties: I love these people and I want to honor them.  I do not want to have to deal with too much shopping, have them walk (hike?) down an aisle, or have to deal with any details that don’t matter to me (um, us).  We can instead ask each member of our extended family (that’s immediate family plus attendants) to do or say something, depending on their level of comfort.  We have one guy who plays guitar and sings beautifully and my sister sings and my brother plays guitar as well.  Check.  I’d like our best friends to find and give readings and for our parents to offer us advice.
  • “Guests” = too much pressure.  These are our friends and family, and they are more than willing to lend a hand.  I’m going to think of this as our friends throwing us a party and us throwing our friends a party.  The former helps me deal with the discomfort of throwing a party in our own honor, and the latter helps me deal with the pressure of making sure they have a good time.
  • Expectations: Drop them.  I’m mostly worried that they’ll show up, realize how casual it all is, and be disappointed. We’ll call it a marriage shindig, if we have to, so that people have no illusions that this isn’t a formal affair.
  • Seating: Honestly?  I have no idea.  We have to find a level area on our property, do all of the measuring and calculations, and then place an order… all while knowing how it should look.  Stress.  I’m going to ask Mr. Cheese to handle this one.
  • Catering/ food: I’m gonna have to ask for help on this, and I know the perfect person.  I want a cookout, essentially, with various salads and snacks and steaks on the grill (maybe skewers)?  While I am inclined to “water down” that idea in favor of something easier, my daydreams have been consistent, and the whole idea is very “us.”  The challenge will be in keeping my groom with me as opposed to hanging out with his friends by the grill, but I must stop trying to manipulate an outcome.  Maybe if we spend some time together first, I won’t feel abandoned.
  • Music: I want it, not sure how to go about it, or if people will dance. Screw it.  We’ll have a dance floor and music and someone to “man” the playlist.  My people will dance.

Now, on to combining the best of eloping and weddings:

  • Private: Maybe we can do limited vows in public and more extended vows in private.  There are things that I will pledge to do that I think will seem silly to others but make sense to us, and I can’t shake the need to care about that.  And there are other ways to get some privacy.  One couple (find link) had dinner together, alone.  I think that we can get the same thing going by having other people get started on the party and leaving for a little while.  I’d love to grab a beer at the place where we first met, all dolled up and everything (but I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that).  If we can’t manage to escape, we can take a walk down the street, or hide out in our bedroom with a couple of beers and some snacks.
  • Public: I believe that our ceremony should be public because our marriage will be public.  This is our chance to seek and accept the blessings of our people on our new family.  And for me, personally, it’s a chance to prove to myself that I can be as honest in public as I am in private about how I feel.

This feels like progress!  I look to a stack of magazines next to me and see this quote: “Progress everywhere today does seem to come so very heavily disguised as Chaos.” –Joyce Grenfell

I’m afraid to ask, but I will: does anyone else have to talk themselves off the ledge like this?  Does anyone calm themselves by typing it all out?

*It’s a repeat bride thing.  I feel like if I were being true to the idea of being “given away,” it would be by my first husband, which is plain ridiculous.  The reality is that I am mine now, and I am choosing to hand myself over to our marriage, but because I tend toward the silly, I don’t want to walk by myself.  I’d be apt to stop and hug everyone along the way, which is cute and heartfelt, but not quite right.  Also, there’s a rather treacherous path down a hill under the best of circumstances, much less in a floofy dress and heels.

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    I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and divorce papers) to prove it. Here I am again, pledging my life to my (new) love with eyes wide open (and heart racing) knowing full well how emotionally traumatic this can end… and doing it anyway.

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